My Brave Pony: Star Fleet Mirrors
by Iokari-Tailor
Summary: Recursive fanfiction told in the universe of My Brave Pony: Star Fleet Magic, detailing speculative adventures and side-stories told by fans of the series. Episodes are not set in chronological order. There will be no songs, as we do not own them.
1. Introduction: What If?

**Introduction**

This is a series of fan-produced stories written about the characters and universe presented in Dakari-King Mykan's long-running fanfiction, My Brave Pony: Star Fleet Magic. The primary purpose is to ask: _what if?_ Some characters see very little screen time, whereas others are often given a fairly straightforward purpose in the plot. There's only so much time in the official series, so these must go unanswered there. This series, then, puts the spotlight on characters and concepts perpetually out-of-focus, to present our answers to the mystery.

**Episodes A and B:** _What if Starla loved somepony other than Lightning Dawn?_ This two-parter, set between episodes four and five of Star Fleet Magic II, examines the relationships between Starla and other members of the cast, both good and bad.

**Episode C: **_Whatever happened to Cookie Dough?_ In the first draft of Star Fleet Magic, entitled "Magic is Believing," Cookie Dough was a major character, but his appearances were cut down for Star Fleet Magic. Where did he go? What was he doing all that time? And, did anyone notice?

**Episode D: **_What is the weather like in United-Equestria? _The planet of Unicornucopia existed in an endless spring-like state. By comparison, Equestria had the standard rotation of seasons, ensured by the efforts and magic of its residents. This episode tells the tale of a new planet, and its new seasons.

**Episode E: **_What if a pony doesn't like his or her name? _Little is ever stated about how a pony acquires his or her name, or the coincidence of how the names so often perfectly match their cutie marks. But what of a world without cutie marks? Where do the names come from, and can they be changed?

**Episode F: **_What did Celestia do after Celesto's departure? _In episode nineteen of Star Fleet Magic, the Grand Ruler's backstory is introduced, including his relationship with Princess Celestia. We know what he did about her absence, but how did she react to his loss?


	2. Episode A: Alluring Kaleidoscope, Part 1

**Episode A: Alluring Kaleidoscope (Part One)**

Starla Shine was a gorgeous pony, at least by United-Equestrian standards. Her spiralling indigo tresses were covered in tiny sparkles of glitter, emulating the night sky. Her jewel-encrusted armour was the perfect accompaniment to an eggplant-coloured skirt that was beautiful, despite providing no advantage in combat. Her lily-white skin was blemished only by a few light gray freckles, and even her number was graceful: KY1M. But all was not beautiful within her heart.

It was Starla and Penny's day off from Star Fleet duty, and they entertained themselves as best they knew how. There they were, two white ponies sitting in white chairs around a white table with a white umbrella in White City. Even their smoothies were white, which meant they were largely flavourless, but that was the trend in White City. Sometimes, Starla wished they could go to Redwood Meadows for strawberry shortcake, but what kind of example would that be?

"This is nice. Why don't we do this more often?" Starla asked politely.

"You're the one who always says you're busy with Star Fleet stuff. I'm pretty much free all the time." Penny responded.

"Slow days at the office?"

"What office?" The medical pony looked genuinely confused by her notion.

In the awkward silence that followed, the air filled with laughter. Fluttershy and Rarity walked past, oblivious to the two drinkers, with faces full of mirth. Whatever they were talking about, it must have been more interesting than Starla and Penny's conversation.

"Our world has been part of theirs for so long." Starla said. "But I still don't know any of them."

"Because of Lightning?" Penny asked.

"Yeah...I have to spend all my time with him. And when he doesn't need me, I just stay at home. I'm not allowed to be my own person because of him."

"So you're having Lover's Remorse? That's a pretty severe diagnosis."

"Is that – is that a real thing?" Starla's face was more confusion than distrust. "Sounds like you're making it up."

"Trust me." Penny chuckled. "I'm a doctor, right? So I know what you're going through. You fell in love with a man at first sight. Then went head into heels for him. No time for second thoughts, to consider alternatives, to even figure out if you liked the guy.

"Yes, that's it exactly!"

"I'm an expert on love, dear, and that's something you can believe in."

Penny gently placed her hoof on Starla's glove, and dropped a tiny trinket into it.

"What is this?" Starla asked, as dumbfounded as during the entire conversation.

"Perspective." was the cryptic reply.

* * *

With that, Penny immediately got up from her chair, put down a few megabits to pay for their drinks, and left without saying goodbye. As she turned to leave, the setting sun caught her eye, for just a moment, revealing an oily emerald sheen that was not there before – and then it was gone.

Back at the observatory, Starla turned over the object in her hands, trying to figure out what it was, and why she had gotten it. "Perspective? Is that like a telescope?" she said to no one. Unfortunately, someone answered back.

"Did someone tell you perspective was like a telescope?" Inquerius asked from the floors below. Starla promptly ignored her; the last thing she needed was someone asking her more questions when this one was hard enough already.

"Hello? Are you there, Starla?" It was at times like this that Starla was glad she had such a talent for blending in and being promptly forgotten.

"Was I hearing things?" she inquired one last time.

Good. Now that she was dealt with, it was time to examine her treasure. It was a tiny tube, only 15 centimeters long, with a convex lens on one end, and an eyehole on the other. A gear changed some sort of internal setting, while the barrel was covered in many ponies, some with horns, some with wings, and some with neither, all very much in love. She could not recall it having been so outlandish looking when Penny gave it to her, but the starlight brought out its true beauty, much like its current bearer.

Taking a deep breath, she held it up to her eye, and clicked the dial, once, and timidly a second time. Shapes whirled in front of her eyes, dancing out patterns to make the sky envious. Her spartan society had few objects that contained such simple, illusive beauty. Roses twirled into bloom, bracketed by lilies and daffodils.

* * *

A garden brought itself into existence before her eyes, made from the magic of the kaleidoscope. Much to her surprise, the garden was not hers alone.

"Starla, are you all right?" called a familiar voice. "You passed out in the middle of my garden, so I tried making you an herbal remedy."

Starla couldn't recall having been passed out, but she was certainly disoriented. "What happened? Why didn't it work?" she said weakly.

"Because you woke up before I could give it to you. But, it sounds like you could still use it anyway."

As the mysterious speaker came around to her front, it proved to be Buddy Rose. Though they were in the same unit of Star Fleet together, the two rarely interacted, due to the bizarre mandate grounding Buddy to his gardens.

He handed her a cup, as red as his face, since all things were expected to be red in Redwood Meadows. She sniffed at it, and found the aroma pleasing, laced with lavender and chamomile. "Be careful, it's hot." he warned her.

As she sipped, she took the time to study her savior. He was barechested, a symbol of the exertion he put forth from the chore of yardwork, revealing an impressive physique. His entire body was fixed in a permanent blush, as if everything and everypony made him just a bit embarrassed. She giggled to think of it.

Attentive as he was, Buddy Rose did not miss her tiny outburst. "It sounds like you're getting better. If nothing else, your voice has made a recovery."

Starla never really gave much thought to her voice. Singing was Lightning's thing, or Krysta's, or the Grand Ruler's. "Do you like my voice, Mr. Rose?" she asked, fully aware that she sounded like a child.

"Don't put on that childish act for me, Starla. I know the Grand Ruler meant for you to act a certain way...but I want you to be yourself." He held out his hoof to pick a flower, and handed it to her. An indigo bellflower, with broad petals in the shape of a star. "Organic." he added, referring to her, not the flower.

She didn't expect to be faced with a puzzle in that moment. _Just how does one act organic? s_he thought. _Break the rules? Take off your clothes? Do...the first thing that comes to your mind?_

"Shortcake." she decided. "I know it's a lot to ask...but I've always wanted to have some. Not the plain kind, we get that all the time in White City, but-"

Buddy Rose pointed off into the distance, towards a luxurious crop of fat-leaved vines. "They're not ready yet, but give them a few weeks. They'll grow into something beautiful, something delicious, something worth coming back for.."

"You're already making plans, Buddy? Seems kind of forward."

"Maybe." he chuckled. "Or maybe I'm just talking about fruit, and you're the one who seems to think it's something more?"

That was enough to make any mare at least a little defensive. "Come on, I'm in a relationship with Lightning. You know that."

"A relationship with who?" He seemed a little puzzled.

"Your friend? The one who's, like, captain of Star Fleet or something?"

"Didn't he move away?"

* * *

Starla tried to keep talking about Lightning, assure Buddy Rose of his existence, but somehow the words just faded from her mouth. Leaves and fruits filled her eyes until she realized they just went around in circles, making patterns as they caught the light. She was in the observatory, and in her hooves, a small kaleidoscope.

She spun the apparatus faster and faster, trying to conjure back the garden, but it was just more of the same. Angry at the capricious instrument, she banged it on the table, and held it to her eye again. With a click, the scenery changed.

This time, there were a great many things to see. Powders, oils, and liquids of various colours, merging with...a runny egg? They whirled around in the bowl together, becoming a pale beige batter, and finally converging into a spongy cake on a tiny plate.

"You said you needed to speak to me? Something wrong with your dessert?" said a brusque blue figure. He was the chef at this establishment, complete with the utter lack of screen time the position entails.

Starla pushed around the plain cake with a fork, trying to figure out just what was the matter with it. "Isn't this supposed to come with fruit?" she wagered.

The chef seemed taken aback. "What would give you that idea?"

"Look at that yellow pony over there. Hers has pineapple in it." The yellow mare indeed had a pineapple shortcake. "That violet stallion has a blackberry shortcake." Abra Kadabra promptly made the spoken of cake disappear. "So then...why is mine so plain?"

"Get to the point. What do you actually want me to, you know, _do_ for you?"

She was getting a little tired of his attitude. "I want you to make me a blueberry shortcake. I hope you know what that means."

He raised an eyebrow slightly. "Really, girl. You want a _blue_berry shortcake? You think you can handle it? I hear your stomachs are very sensitive where you come from."

"You heard me." she said. "Berries as blue as that mane of yours, Mr..."

"Cookie Dough." he said. "Not that anyone cares, but my name is Cookie Dough."

She noticed something odd about his expression. His features were softening before her eyes, something she had never seen in the five minutes she had known this stallion for. There was clearly something on his mind, and she wasn't about to let it drop.

"Something on your mind?" she asked, realizing it came off much for confrontational than she intended.

"Nah, I just missed this sort of thing. Ever since I came here, it's all colour-coordinated menus and meaningless praise. You're the first person who actually seems to taste what she's eating."

"This had better not be your plan to get out of making me that dessert."

Cookie Dough shook his head, his ridiculously tall hat almost falling off in the process. "You know what? Here's the deal. I'll make you that dumb cake, if you come back and help me."

She was a little shocked by the notion. "I have to help you? In a restaurant? What kind of service is that?" It was at that point she picked up on the notion there was subtext involved. Almost as if he was trying to communicate something to her, without saying it outright.

Starla quickly revised her original denial. "I'll help. But it had better be a good cake." She fluttered her eyelashes, hoping the movement would erase her prior statement.

The stallion helped her up from her seat, and led her past a series of steaming ovens and stressed-out ponies. They passed the dessert station completely, ending in a room that few patrons had ever seen before.

"My office." Cookie narrated. "Not that it does anyone much good, the way this place ends up running."

"You're starting to make me worry I'm never going to get that cake." she said.

"Who said you weren't getting cake?" he said, as he pulled a mixing bowl and several ingredients from the desk. "Just because it's private doesn't mean it lacks provisions."

Cookie Dough leaned over to preheat the oven, and suddenly was gone. Starla protested, but only managed to knock over a sack of flour, filling her eyes with a white powder. It went around, and around, and—

* * *

It kept spinning. It was just a kaleidoscope, nothing more. Twice the object had fooled her with these visions, and while she knew the shame was on her, addiction is a powerful force to be reckoned with. Starla was thirsty now for love, and while the toy could not bring it to her, it dulled the pang for a moment or two. She clumsily fiddled with the gears, trying to find a setting she had not yet exhausted, and was rewarded with another new illusion.

Splotches of paint formed the medium, as they danced all over her precious white eyes. The more she spun the scope, the more colours she saw, until they fused into the most confused rainbow she had ever seen.

Her artgazing was interrupted when a few white flakes of something fell on her cheeks, competing with her natural freckles.

"Apologies, cherie." Artie's familiar voice called out to her. "I guess I got a little carried away carving this new sculpture."

This made her squint a bit. The more she looked at it, she was still sure it was a painting of a confused rainbow. Precisely how it was a sculpture, and by what mechanism he produced flakes of white dust from it, she had no clues.

"Oh, that's all right, Artie. I just wanted to see what you were up to. You're usually so quiet on duty."

"I've learned not to open my mouth too much on Star Fleet duty." he said. "It's a useful skill, you know. It keeps me from making a fool of myself all the time."

"Like Rhymey?" Starla asked.

Artie made an overly-dramatic pantomime, the type Rhymey tends to do all the time.

"Exactly like Rhymey." he teased.

Artie climbed down from his 'sculpture' and took a moment to examine it. "Sorry to ask you, Starla, but...do you have any idea what I made here?"

Starla didn't like guessing games. "I guess you'll have to explain it to me."

"Oh, that's not good." he said. "I don't have a clue what it is, either. At least I won't have to stare at it for too long. The Grand Ruler is probably going to blow it up with rainbows before too long."

"Some things never change?" she said.

"Exactly."

The two of them shared a laugh about his artistic blunder while trotting home. Eventually, they came to a fork in the road.

"Looks like this is where we part ways." he said. "Orange to the left, white to the right. Well, it was nice chatting while we could."

Starla wasn't ready to come to an end that quickly. "In Orange Range, where you're from...do you ever eat shortcake?"

"Orange shortcake? We eat it all the time. Do you like it?"

She shook her head. "I don't know. They don't have it where I'm from."

"Well, that's not good. Come on, let's go try it. Besides, there's still dust on your mane from earlier. You can wash it out at my place."

Such scandalous behavior! Offering to feed her orange food...and asking her to wash her hair at his place? She found his openness tempting.

"Is this what everypony who is orange acts like? Open to everything" she asked.

"Probably not." he said. "But the colour rules are stupid anyways, right? If we want to hang out together, we deserve a chance."

"Artie, I think this is a lot more than just hanging out." Her lips quivered as she finished saying it.

"Then it's more than just hanging out." he agreed, kissing her swollen lips softly.

"Why did I never feel this way about you before?" she asked. "We've had so many days like this...so what makes this one special?"

Artie gave her a smile. It wasn't a very good one, but at least it was honest. "Today was the day that you left your comfort zone. If you hadn't, we'd just be in a room, not talking like any other day."

"I'll keep that in mind." she sighed. "Maybe that's what I need to do about Lightning."

"It is getting kind of cloudy, isn't it?" Artie said. "I didn't know it was supposed to rain today."

"No, I mean-"

* * *

She was interrupted by a crash of thunder, jolting the kaleidoscope out of her hands. She opened the drapes and found there was a storm outside. It figured. The closer she got to happiness, the more work the Grand Ruler seemed to do to take it away from her.

It was already late into the night; hours had passed without her knowledge. The library was closed, and there was nothing left to do but shut the drapes, take off her armor, and go to sleep.

She tossed and turned on the bed, the storm combining with her muddled thoughts to keep her awake. Before she was perplexed as to why she was ever with Lightning, and now she was less sure than ever. It seemed like everypony she knew was talented, considerate, or at least friendly. She couldn't think of a single adjective to describe the stallion she thought she knew so well.

Eventually, she mumbled herself to sleep, but it was not a happy one. That night, that mare witnessed many nightmares.

**To be continued...**


	3. Episode B: Alluring Kaleidoscope, Part 2

**Episode B: Alluring Kaleidoscope (Part Two)**

"And that's the story of how _I_ created a brand new winged unicorn from scratch." Abra exclaimed proudly.

"Uh-huh." Starla said.

The whole situation was less exciting than she could have imagined, which was interesting, in that it was a dream, so by all logic, she was imagining it. Abra Kadabra was a man of many stories, all of them she had heard before. It would help if he told a story she wasn't already there for. Or if he told those stories she was there for in a way at all like she remembered them.

"Am _I _boring you?" he asked.

"What if you are?" she murmured, half asleep. Technically, all asleep, but that's already been established.

"_I _just couldn't fathom such a thing, that's what. After all, _I'm_ the greatest entertainer in all of United-Equestria. _I _said so _myself _as soon as we arrived."

"But, think about it. If _you're_ so popular, why is it that no one is paying to see _your_ show? she asked.

"Mmm, hmm, hmm...now _I'm_ interested. _I _do so like it when you use that word." he said.

Starla wondered if Abra always talked this way, putting extra emphasis on all his first-person pronouns. Monotonous voice with weird emphasis on other things, sure, but this seemed a little out-of-character.

"Is this a dream?" Starla asked herself aloud.

"_I'm_ a dream, am _I_?" Abra snickered. "_I _always knew _I _was, but it's great to hear it from someone else."

He made the last few bits of blackberry shortcake disappear, much as he had made everything else on the plate disappear. Such a model of chivalry, he was.

"No, I'm sure of it, it's a dream." she said. "None of this could be real. Look, we're not even in a restaurant."

The camera panned out behind her to prove that, while they sat at a purple table with purple chairs, covered in purple tableware that no longer held purple food, behind them was nothing but a purple curtain surrounding them on all sides.

"Silly girl." Abra Kadabra snickered. "_I _know when _I_ have a dream, all _I_ have to do is acknowledge it and it goes away."

"This feels more like a curse." she said.

"Don't worry, _I _have a magic word for situations like this.

"Then use it already!"

He reached into his cloak, and produced a black folded object, like a tiny ledger. She wondered what it could possibly have to do with her predicament, before realizing with a sigh.

"Please?" he pronounced ridiculously, before shoving the bill in her face.

"Were you even listening to my problem?" she asked.

"_I _heard you talking about how great _I _was. Other than that? _I_ doubted it was important."

Rage built up within Starla's skull. The other three scenarios felt like dates, but this one was so sloppy, so weird. Either whatever architect was putting her up to this stopped trying, or, more disturbingly, she had simply run out of halfway decent stallions to be paired with earlier than expected.

"Kaleidoscope!" she shouted. "If you can here me, I'm done! Get out of my way, or at least move on to someone, anyone else!"

"_I _should warn you," Abra said. "_I _don't do crazy chicks. Or sloppy seconds, or virgins, or jailbait, or barkeeps, or dastardly duos, or bridesmaids..." His words faded into nonsense as the curtains spun around the two of them, revealing mirrors behind them, reflecting seas of violet in every direction. The violet quickly turned nonsensical, nothing more than the reflections seen in your garden variety kaleidoscope.

* * *

Starla awoke with a jolt, still as furious as she was when she was asleep. She sprung out of bed with a leap, exposing her blank flank for the world to see. It didn't matter to her; all she cared about was mindless destruction. Once she got her hooves on that condemnable kaleidoscope, it quickly became apparent how mixed her feelings were.

Buddy Rose. That was good. Cookie Dough was all right, too. She had fun with Artie, but wasn't really sure that was a romance. Is one bad apple enough to spoil the tree? It occurred to her may she was bucking this one a little sooner than necessary.

"Okay," she whispered, addressing the kaleidoscope as though it could listen. "One last chance. Don't screw it up this time, okay?"

She immediately regretted her decision upon finding the tube filled with a sunny yellow hue. Letters swirled around, as A, E, and I tried to make good on their arranged marriages to a C, then an L, and a wayward Zed. The whole thing was complete gibberish, and she was afraid she knew just who it made sense to.

"Your eyes so bright, your eyes so blue. They're quite a sight, and mine are too!" a voice happily exclaimed, marred by a signature otherworldly quaver.

Starla looked around to find out that, this time, the kaleidoscope put her on a golden carousel, sharing a glittering statue of Celestia that bobbed up and down with Rhymey. He was clearly taking unnatural delight in the childhood entertainment, obviously oblivious to the clue that the two of them were too large to properly fit on her backside.

"Why did you take me here, Rhymey?" she asked. "Isn't there some place a little more...substantial we could have gone?"

"You mean to go for a game of hopscotch? I hear adults dance hop, then scotch."

"No, Rhymey, I mean like going dancing, or to a play. No pony around here ever seems to go anywhere fancy."

Rhymey laughed at her concept, making sure to laugh only an even number of times to ensure his laughs made couplets. "I don't think I've ever seen a play. Why would I, when we see drama all day?"

Speaking with him was suspiciously like conversing with yellow brick.

"Do you ever think about what you say?" she asked.

"Yes! Of course! Quite a lot!" he said "Less, on words. Tie a knot?"

He was even a little ashamed of that one. It was a good thing that she also blamed him, providing him a rhyming pair of emotions.

"I know a surprise, to make this a date." he said at last. "A pineapple surprise – pineapple shortcake!"

"Hold on – what are the odds of that?" Starla asked.

"The odds of what? Aren't you a shortcake nut?"

"That everypony would offer me the same dessert! There's a lot of desserts out there – cakes, pies, cremes – and you just happen to offer shortcake?"

Rhymey stifled a little chuckle. "Maybe it means...we were meant for each other, it seems?"

"Sorry, but there's no chance that's going to happen..." Starla tensed up. "I don't have time for this mockery of a date. I need answers."

* * *

Rhymey tried to protest, but his logic wasn't the best. The carousel turned into nothing more than a florid description of itself, before the golden letters faded from view, and the kaleidoscope was once again nothing more than a simple instrument.

Still in a groggy state, still waking up, and not yet reaccustomed to her true surroundings, Starla heard that Inquerius down below was already up and in-gear. A knock struck the building's oppressive wooden door.

"Yes? Who is it?" the greymare asked, opening the sizable door.

Starla could not well hear the answer that came from the other side.

"Oh? And who are you now?" she asked, to a second visitor.

"Another one?" she asked again. "Why are there so many of you?"

As fast as she could, Starla worked to make herself presentable, donning her armor and running a brush through her hair. Apparently, the library was opening early today.

"Are you sure it's safe to run up the stairs so quickly?" Inquerius asked. "And you, don't you think you'll get hurt like that?"

The pounding hooves got louder and louder. Starla was worried, and for good reason. It seemed she had an entire horde of visitors, who needed to let her know they were alive.

Buddy Rose was first, bursting through the door before she had finished brushing her hair. If he noticed the bushy mass that occupied the right side of her head, he certainly didn't care, as his main objective was to thrust a big bouquet of roses at her bosom.

"That was a wonderful day we had yesterday," he said, his voice a trace more effeminate than she remembered. "Please tell me you have time to spend together today?"

She was perplexed, and her face wrote a tell-all exposé on the matter. Not only was his clinginess very unbecoming, she also couldn't figure out why what she saw last night seemed to have actually happened.

Two more stallions rushed up her stair, proving themselves to be Artie and Rhymey. They had their own gifts, a convoluted love sonnet and a mural depicting her painted like one of those French girls, but she didn't have time to judge them for quality.

"Everybody out!" she screamed, brandishing her hairbrush. "I'll deal with all of you in a minute, but I can't if you're going to ambush me like this!"

The three of them did as she commanded. She feared that, had her command been more visceral in nature, they might have followed that, too.

"All right, you stupid toy. It's time I ended you."

She pulled her brush angrily through her hair, forcing it into a graceful wave and pulling out countless fragments of starlight. With her horn, she forged them all together into a single luminous shaft.

"**Starlight**...**Arrow!**" she called out, stabbing it into the glass tube.

The device shattered at once, plates and lenses in every colour of the rainbow shooting out from it across her room. There was no fixing it now, much to her delight. Satisfied that she had destroyed the curse, she cantered out with her mane held high.

* * *

It was short-lived happiness.

Seven ponies argued amongst themselves in the library's high-vaulted atrium, their squalls obscured by Starla's previous destructive bout. Inquerius hid herself under the reception desk, fearing the worst from them. Buddy Rose, Artie, and Rhymey she had dealt with already. Abra Kadabra and Cookie Dough came as no surprise. Lightning finally made his appearance, as had...Brain?

"Everypony knows that Starla is my girl!" Lightning roared. "End of discussion!"

"Not end of discussion, you tool." said Cookie Dough. "She was at my restaurant last night, and she seemed...more than available."

"But that can't be!" said Buddy Rose "What about my garden?"

"Her prior visit to my workshop was _most_ satisfactory." Brain concurred.

Starla couldn't continue listening to it. "Brain, what are you talking about? I never saw you at all last night."

Lightning laughed in triumph. "Ah-ha! So, the hoofed whore admits it! You were cheating on me!" He stooped down to accommodate Brian's literal shortcoming. "Up top, accomplice!" The two bumped hooves.

"Yes, Lightning, I had dates with everypony here." Starla admitted. "But they weren't real! The situations, the emotions, it was all an ilusion!"

Lightning found this explanation less-than-credible. "Really. You had fake dates with the whole town, and somehow they remembered them all?"

Her case was admittedly unimpressive. "I have proof!" she said.

Until...she realized she didn't have proof. The proof was all over her room, in tiny inconclusive bits and pieces. But she did have Plan B.

"Well, all right, I don't have proof." she admitted. "But I know someone who will!"

Lightning wasn't impressed by this, either. He was quickly overruled by the council, who seemed more than willing to grant Starla some benefit of the doubt. In exchange for hugs and kisses, a request which Lightning and Starla equally overruled.

* * *

The team stormed out of the library, through the technicolour avenues that formed Rainbow City. Taking flight with their near-vestigial wings, they eventually made their way to the offices of one Dr. Penny Sillion, after needing to make several stops to discuss whether that was someone who actually existed, or if Starla was just filibustering.

Starla knocked loudly on the door, almost breaking it down in the process. No response. She knocked more sanely, which the doctoress answered willingly.

"Here's your 'perspective' back." Starla said, throwing a handful of glass shards at the doctor. The doctor's face quickly resolved into a pout.

"Oh, you didn't like it?" she moaned. "That's unfortunate. It seems your new admirers enjoyed themselves, wouldn't you say?"

The suitors gave nods that looked unmistakeably rehearsed.

"What's your game, Penny?" Starla asked. "What do you get out of this? It's not like the boys of this town need any help to look like idiots."

Penny delivered an over-the-top high-pitched laugh. "Ha, ha, ha, ah, ah, ah!"

Starla realized there was a little more to this Penny than the cardboard one she knew and tolerated. "Hold on...your plan was to spread ill-thought out romances throughout United-Equestria? That sounds like-"

Penny spread her wings, and threw off her skirt and labcoat. "It does, doesn't it? That's because I am, you weak pony!" Her white skin cracked and turned greenish-black, revealing a large changeling with a broken horn and six pale wings. "I am your third-worst nightmare – Polyhymnia!"

"Oh, I was about to say it sounds like Chrysalis, but...that works too." Starla said.

Lightning immediately jumped into action, pushing Starla into the background. "So, that's your game, you monster! You mean to tempt everypony into the evils of polygamy, to gain dark energy for your mistress! In the name of Star Fleet..." He contorted himself into a dramatic, if feminine pose, "...I will punish you!"

Polyhymnia didn't really know what to make of this, but, Starla had a much more immediate reaction, tripping Lightning in the middle of his unsteady hero pose.

"Ow!" he complained. "What did you do that for? She's the enemy!"

"Lightning, you have the moral all wrong. She's not trying to teach us that 'polygamy is wrong' or some trash like that."

"But, Starla, her name!"

"Oh, and if the villain were named Serpentari, the takeaway would be 'snakes are bad'?"

"All right then, what is the lesson?" Lightning sneered. "What's so important that you'd undermine me just to make sure we're clear on it?"

Polyhymnia hovered in between the two of them. "It seems like you're forgetting about me already. Don't expect me to wait for the end of your argument to lay a hoof on you!"

She slapped Lightning across the face, knocking him back. The wound glittered a bright green as his lip rapidly swelled out of proportion.

"Don't worry, Polly, I haven't forgotten." Starla said. The changeling made her move on Buddy Rose, next, but Starla took the blow for him, and grasped his hoof, channeling an unknown red object.

She did the same for Rhymey, Brain, even Abra Kadabra. Her body stung from all the hits, her beauty was marred by infected cuts and bruises. But her allies were still safe, and that was enough.

"Quite the martyr you are, Starla. If you're expecting me to stop short of killing you, you must have forgotten who I am."

Starla made a quick connection with Cookie Dough, and Artie on the way up to face her attacker, adding a fifth and sixth coloured light to her collection.

"You want me to attack you?" she asked.

Polyhymnia laughed at the thought. "Oh yes, puny pony. Give me your...Starlight Arrow? Is that what you call it?"

"I would think out of anyone, your race wouldn't underestimate women."

She pulled out an indigo arrow, her standard Starlight Arrow. Her hoof glowed with red energy, and she drew another, calling on the power of Buddy Rose. Then an orange, then a yellow – until she had seven arrows nocked to fire, one of every colour of the rainbow.

"You see, Lightning?" Starla called out. "Your powers aren't unique! You just refuse to accept anyone else can do what you do!"

"**Rainbow**...**Barrage!**" she yelled, firing the arrows, which collided in the air to strike the many-winged changeling.

Polyhymnia's body began to dissolve, her aberrant wings melting until she was little more than a standard bug of a changeling, two-winged, with an unrecovered horn. But she only laughed at her loss.

"Don't you see, Starla? I'm not the one at fault here. All you have to do is flutter your eyes and any male in this world goes crazy for you. Do you sleep well at night by telling yourself that's not magic?"

"I tell myself it doesn't matter." Starla said. "Because I don't need him to save me."

Lightning drew his shrinking ray, and fired it at the fallen Polyhymnia, reducing her to a more manageable size. "All right!" he shouted. "That's one more for the collection!"

The others were already walking off.

"Guys?" Lighting asked. "Come on, aren't you all supposed to be proud of me?"


	4. Episode C: Executive Chef

**Episode C: Executive Chef**

Lightning's silver-white brow glistened with sweat. It had been a long morning of fighting changelings, and he had worked up quite an appetite doing it. Seeing as they just happened to be in Rainbow City, he could think of no greater place to eat than the renowned eatery: the Rainbow Dish Inn.

"It's so ridiculous that we have to pay for food." Lightning said as he flew. "We're heroes, and we deserve compensation for our good deeds!"

His companions comprised Starla Shine, Brain, and, due to a somewhat confusing order from higher up, Abra Kadabra and Goldwin. Though, since Abra Kadabra spent the last few hours disappearing and reappearing, and Goldwin was probably still in his statue form the entire time, it was mostly just the first three.

"Well, actually, it wasn't exactly us..." Brain corrected. "After all it _was_ Twilight's magic that–"

"Okay, fine, she helped." Lightning said. "But the thing with the squirrels-"

"Erm, that was Fluttershy." Brain offered.

"But the plan, and the organization, that was all us!"

"You mean...Rarity?"

Lightning brushed it off. He was sure that he did something triumphant and wonderful in that battle, it was just eluding him right now. Maybe with a little something in his stomach, he'd know exactly what for.

Until the three (five?) of them saw something that made them stop cold. The familiar rainbow regalia of their favorite restaurant had been replaced with illustrations of various seductive manestyles. It was as if the entire Rainbow Dish had simply been written out of existence.

Curiosity was enough to motivate the team to enter, and, unsurprisingly, the building was filled with sinks, hairdryers, and wall after wall of luscious shampoos and polishes. Rapidly dashing towards them, to the point of blocking out all other sights, was a pink pony with wild corkscrews of hair.

"Hi, everypony! I can't believe it!" she shouted. "You all heard about Blossomforth's new salon, too? This is so exciting! I bet you all can't wait to ditch those stuffy old Unicornucopian manestyles and try something new!"

Her excitement was ebullient, but not infectious. Unfortunately, her presence only seemed to add to the confusion of the scenario.

"Oh, I know what your game is. My Pinkie sense said I needed to come here to give an exposition, and you must be the ponies I'm supposed to give it to!"

The winged unicorns idly nodded, though they still weren't entirely sure what she was talking about.

"Your friend Cookie Dough moved away a while ago, actually." she said. "He opened a posh new restaurant in Manehattan, and it's only the most exclusive place! I've been dying to go, and-" she gasped loudly, realizing something that must have been wonderful "-if you know him, that must mean he'd let you in without reservations!"

Lightning wasn't so sure. "A fancy restaurant? Our Cookie Dough? Can't be right. He could barely cook at all, and he definitely couldn't manage a kitchen!"

Brain and Starla shook their heads. "Um...not sure where your memories came from, old chap," Brain said, "but mayhaps she's telling the truth? As I seem to recall, people worshipped his food. He was verifiably a one-man cult."

"Oh, is that so? You really think his food was that good?" Lightning challenged.

"Bet! Bet! Bet!" Pinkie Pie cheered. "This is great! So, the two of you will set up those reservations, and then we'll see what his cooking is really like?"

"Oh, yeah. It's on." Lightning retorted.

* * *

Back on Equestria, Manehattan was truly a sight: the richest and technologically savvy of all cities. In United-Equestria, it faced little competition, as the monochromatic cities that found themselves juxtaposed against it literally paled in comparison. New Canterlot remained the cultural headquarters, but no city could compete for financial dominance. Those wealthy few who consumed conspicuously, did so here.

Star Fleet and the Friendship Force were on the afternoon train into the city centre. Lightning had suggested that they fly, though, given the massive size of United-Equestria and its resulting high gravity, the train quickly showed to be a superior option. The girls, Starla included were decked in dresses that truly proved them to be the ponies that everypony should know. The boys chose their Star Fleet best, which begged the question as to whether or not masks are the big new fashion trend.

"To think, after all these years I'm comin' back to Manehattan." Applejack reminisced. "I just hope it hasn't changed too much while I was gone."

"Oh, Applejack, surely you must be joking!" Rarity commented. "Manehattan is nothing _but_ change. You'll be lucky if even one store is as you remember it!"

"So, tell us about where we'll be eating tonight." said Twilight, ever practical. Lightning and Brain glazed over, potentially hoping that she'd forget her own question. Rarity came to the rescue, magazine in hand.

"Why, at 512 on 7, of course!" she said with a swoon, tapping her hoof on pictures of tapenades and crème brûlées. "The only restaurant so divine it needs no name."

"Or so pretentious, more like." Applejack said.

"And...you say that you know someone who works there?" Twilight asked, her practicality recycled into skepticism.

"Not just anyone!" Pinkie cheered. "The...executive chef!"

Rarity's eyes opened even wider. "The Cookie Dough? Like, _the_ Cookie Dough?"

Lightning was unimpressed by the conversation as a whole. "He's not _the_ Cookie Dough, he's just regular old Cookie Dough. Honestly, I don't know what all the fuss is – he's just a friend we lost touch with three years ago. No big deal."

Twilight's mind sprang into action. "Lightning...has it ever occurred to you that maybe you're just a little jealous that he's gone off to live in Manehattan, leaving you in the same place you were three years ago?"

Lightning turned and left to find another car, giving no sign that he heard her. He needed to let her know that his reasons for feeling as he did were _much_ more complex than that.

* * *

Once in the city, big as it was, it took little time to find 512 on 7. The fact that it was the building numbered 512 on 7th Avenue was a pretty helpful clue. The eight of them were fashionably early; Applejack wanted a chance to look around before they were ushered to their seats, but Rarity explained that, if you are an hour early to your appointment at 512 on 7, it is only proper to wait that entire hour.

A snooty looking host led them to a table, where Lightning Dawn and Starla Shine took seats at the head, Brain and Twilight Sparkle fell to their left, Rarity and Applejack on their right, and Pinkie Pie and Abra Kadabra somehow found their way to the other end of the table.

"Excuse me, sir, where are the menus?" Lightning asked.

"You are Mssr. Cookie Dough's personal guests, yes?" the greasy bluemaned maitrê'd asked them.

"Duh." Lightning responded, eloquently.

"He has prepared a special menu for you. Something he has selected specifically to pique your interest. I do hope you appreciate his efforts...whoever you are, you must be important to him."

The concept of a unique menu quickly became the premier topic of discussion. What could it mean that, when the Star Fleet members had almost completely forgotten their blue friend, he considered them important enough to serve up custom dishes for?

"I don't think we ever gave Cookie Dough enough credit." Starla said. "He really did try his best to keep us all healthy – why did we even stop hanging out with him in the first place?"

"You're just saying that because of that magical night you had together." Lightning said.

"Heh, I remember Granny Smith talkin' about somethin' like this once." Applejack said. "She made apple scones for all the ponies she hated at the school reunion. Laxative scones."

Thinking about it would have made Brain green, had that not been redundant. He tried to excuse himself from the table, but Twilight had other concerns.

"Brain, there's something I've been meaning to ask you. It's about that statue."

She pointed at the golden statue in the corner. They brought him here, for whatever reason, but since eating was not a concern for him, he instead merely sat in the corner and freaked out passerbys.

"This is hardly the time to talk about it, I should think." he said, brushing her off.

"They're all too distracted trying to figure out what kind of food Cookie Dough is going to bring us. But you know as well as I do that talking about it won't change it. So we might as well talk about something important."

Brain looked mildly uncomfortable with her logic, but had too much informed intelligence to dispute it.

"It's just...Goldwin isn't a living creature, is he?" Twilight asked. "He has never known certain emotions, nor does he know the difference between good and evil. Why does the Grand Ruler show such affection towards him?"

"Celesto shows kindness towards all." Brain quoted. "Why would he be different?"

"But he doesn't, does he?" Twilight asked. "Those three ponies who helped Nightmare Moon. They were real ponies, with thoughts, and feelings. Why didn't he show kindness to them?"

"Because they chose the wrong path. Such will happen to anyone who does so."

"But Goldwin is so young, so fragile-minded." Twilight said. "If he does something to oppose the Grand Ruler, surely it would not be his fault?"

"Any who oppose the Grand Ruler is at fault." Brain said, as if no thought went into those words.

"But I had to oppose Celestia in order to reveal the changeling queen's plan. She told me by the end of that how important it was that I don't blindly follow her."

"You don't seem to be talking about Goldwin anymore."

"I'm talking about mortality." Twilight said. "And maybe...morality. To create life and take it away as arbitrarily as your Ruler does...I wish someone could explain it to me. I need to know."

Brain stared at her intensely, hoping he would eventually develop the powers of a cockatrice and turn her to stone. At least if she were stone, that would answer the question about whether or not _she_ should be allowed to live. Because right now, Brain just wasn't sure.

* * *

Around the table, the ponies were enjoying a very thick, brown liquid that they had been assured was coffee. Well, seven of them were enjoying it, anyway.

"What's wrong, Lightning?" Pinkie Pie asked. "Isn't this just the best? It's like a liquid party! And it makes me want to get up and help everypony...party!"

Lightning swirled the cup around a few times, and a bubble rose up to the thick surface. "I don't drink drugs. I can't believe Cookie Dough's trying to poison us with an addictive substance like this! And he made it way too thick!"

Rarity was quick to disagree. "Oh, I can assure you, this is no mistake. Coffee made like this is the finest in _haute cuisine_ right now. What a refined stallion he must be to know about it!"

Starla finished drinking the last of her coffee, and turned her mug over on her saucer. Lifting it back up, she revealed a pattern of coffee grounds left on the dish.

"Ew, there's coffee grounds left in it too?" Lightning complained. "Don't tell me that's intentional, too."

"It's for guests to tell their fortune in, Lightning." Starla said. "You know? Like a fortune cookie?"

"That's so cool!" Pinkie said. "Quick, what does mine say? And can I have Lightning's cup too, so I can have double fortunes?"

"I already know what my fortune is going to be." Lightning said. "I'm going to get handed another inedible dish from the Cookie monster."

"Ahem." the waiter pony intoned. He was holding more dishes for their enjoyment: a delicate couscous featuring an assortment of nuts.

"Don't bother putting one in front of me." Lightning said. "I'm allergic to nuts, anyway."

Starla wasn't especially sure that he was, but she remained silent. It was hard to raise too much of an objection while enjoying her appetizer.

* * *

The pattern remained the same for most of the night. An entrée of salad featuring bamboo shoots and heart of palm? Useless, as Lightning does not eat the inside of trees. A main course starring the talents of a hearty eggplant? Lost on the deaf ears of Lightning's strict vows not to eat purple foods. Leaving only one course left for him to hate: the dessert course.

The seven ponies around him were quite stuffed, wondering how on United-Equestria they could possibly eat something more, and almost dreading the fact that they were unlikely to turn it down. Lightning's empty belly howled at them, not that they were interested in listening to it.

The waiter at long last brought out the final course: Key Lime Cupcakes.

Lightning burst out of his chair with anger. "What kind of a joke is this?" he shouted. "I was promised a meal, and everything – _every thing – _has been completely inedible!" He proceeded to punctuate his point by picking up everypony's cupcakes and tossing them on the ground, earning him a lot of complaints from his party. "I demand to see Cookie Dough, right now!"

The waiter kept an unbroken cool, despite the substantial amount of meringue spackled on his evening jacket. "You wish to see the executive chef?"

"Like he deserves to be called that." Lightning growled.

The waiter slowly walked away, making his way towards the kitchen in a deliberately circuitous manner. He would get Cookie Dough and get this all sorted out. Probably.

"I told you Cookie Dough doesn't know what he's doing." Lightning said to Brain.

"Uh...what are you talking about, chap? His coffee was most savoury..."

"...his couscous was easy on the eyes and the mouth," Applejack continued.

"...his salad truly put the trés in trés magnifique!" Rarity noted.

"...his eggplant was very fulfilling, if you gave it the chance..." Starla said.

"And I didn't even get a chance to try his cupcakes!" Pinkie Pie said angrily.

"What's going on here?" Lightning asked. "Are you telling me that all of you actually _liked_ that rubbish that he called food?"

"Yes!" Twilight said. "Because unlike you, we actually ate it."

"I didn't need to try any to know it was bad. Just look at that stuff he served us. Gloppy coffee, and mushy grains, and weird salad, and some starchy mess on a plate? How could any of that possibly have been good?"

As he was ranting, a subdued force in blue wearing a double-breasted chef's jacket came to join the discussion. "Lightning...it's been a while. Did you follow my advice and try the ingredients of Equestria while I was gone?"

Many of the ponies at the table were starstruck. Pinkie Pie and Rarity didn't have enough good to say to Cookie Dough. Starla and Twilight complimented him more modestly. Abra Kadabra didn't have anything to say, which was in keeping with his behavior since entering the restaurant.

"Thank you, everypony, it is truly an honour to have such heroes eating my food." he said. "But, I'm here to talk to Lightning; after all, he is the one who called me out here. So, Lightning, what do you have to say about Equestrian food?"

"I think it's an insult. Who would bother eating food that wasn't made by our Celesto?"

Cookie Dough tried to hold back his laughter, but it wasn't very successful. "I think everypony at your table would. I specifically designed a menu of Equestrian favorites – because I wanted you to embrace this new world we live in, Lightning."

Lightning's mind immediately clicked into place. The coffee, the salad, the cupcakes. None of them were foods that he had as a child. None of them were foods that Celesto had ever made. That explained it. There was only one possible answer for why he would have made those foods.

"Ah ha!" Lightning exclaimed. "You revealed yourself so foolishly, didn't you?" He quickly whipped himself around into his famous battle pose. "In the name of Star Fleet...I will punish you!"

Everypony around him was pretty confused at this point. The members of Star Fleet in his vicinity were certainly not joining him in their battle forms.

"Um...Lightning." Twilight asked. "What are you talking about? Punish him for what?"

"To believe you were all fooled by this changeling's mockery!" Lightning narrated. "This is clearly not our Cookie Dough...but a dirty facsimile!" Lightning jumped into the air, and started to slap Cookie Dough with his wings.

"What are you doing?" Cookie Dough boomed, in a voice loud enough that even the most oblivious eaters tore themselves away from their meals.

* * *

"What a nightmare..." Rarity said. "To believe that I'll never get to eat at 512 on 7 ever again!"

"Don't be so dramatic, Rarity." Applejack said. "We're allowed to come back anytime we want. The only one who can't come back..."

Lightning was holding his head, trying to get the headache he sustained under control. "It could have happened to anypony! We're fighting changelings. Who knows who might be the enemy?"

"But you didn't have to insult his food. That was obviously over the line." Starla said.

"So, uh...this was awkward." Twilight said. "We'll...keep in touch?" The fact that her jaw was set in an awkward underbite suggested that she might not have actually meant it.

They split ways, agreeing to take separate trains back to where they came from.

"And to believe that the Princess makes _you_ to friendship reports." said Pinkie Pie to her violet-coloured companion.

"That silver pony has issues. But, much as we'd like to, I don't think we can ignore them without the entire kingdom crashing down around us..." said Twilight as she gazed out the window, worried about what trial they'd be put through next.


End file.
